Back to the "Grind"?
I started working this week. I set aside a few hours each day to focus on working. So far I've done 6am-9am. I don't have a "job" yet, so I don't need to work a full eight hour day. I spend my time searching for jobs to apply for, sending emails to contacts, learning about things that could help me find a job in the future, and organizing my office space.
It hasn't been a lot yet. But as I slowly get back into things, I'm finding myself more excited for what is to come. The idea that I have no money right now is scary still. And the idea that I may not have money for some time is terrifying. But the idea that I can choose to work on jobs that I really want to work on is something I'm looking forward to. The idea that I can make this work has started to sink in. I can have a baby and work without having him in a full-time daycare. I have started pushing the time I finish working a little bit later because I'm interested in what I'm working on and I'm not quite ready to stop. I remember when I would work from home before I went on maternity leave and I routinely skipped lunch for exactly this reason. I would be working on a project and forget that I had to take an hour out of my day to stop. Most days I would grab something to eat and keep going, finishing my day an hour early instead of taking the break in the middle.
Maybe some of you can't understand this. My dad always told me to find a job I love and I'd never work a day in my life. I think that I have managed to do this. Yes, some days I don't want to work. Everyone has days like that. But when you are interested in what you are doing, once you get started on it, the time goes by so quickly that it feels like no time at all.